![]() If we immediately write someone off when they make a mistake, or stop talking to them, we don’t give them a chance to step into their accountability. But others can only do that if we allow them. We trust people who own up to their mistakes, apologize, and make amends, she says. It’s okay to just say, “Great to see you.” Accountability I’ll give you a call sometime!” when we actually have no intention of calling. We might feel compelled to say, “Great to see you. Brown gives the example of running into an acquaintance at a coffee shop. We need to know when we’re too busy to commit to more plans with others, or when we just don’t want to commit. ![]() This idea also transfers to personal life. When we overstep our limits, we can’t deliver on our commitments. If we commit to more than we can manage, we end up unable to finish it all, or we finish it at a lower level of quality than we could have if we had less on our plate. They can’t just follow through on their word once, Brown says, reliability builds gradually.Īt work, this means that we know our limits and enforce them so we don’t bite off more than we can chew. Reliability is when someone does what they say they’re going to do over and over again. It’s also important that we understand the boundaries of others so trust can flow both ways. To trust someone, Brown says, it’s essential that we are clear about our boundaries so they can understand and respect our limits. Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else. She says she uses this acronym “because when we trust, we are braving connection with someone.” Understanding that these are components of trust and how they work can help us really understand how we do or don’t trust others, or ourselves. To talk about trust, Brown uses the acronym BRAVING which stands for: boundaries, reliability, accountability, the vault, integrity, non-judgment, and generosity. She borrows a definition from leadership and well-being coach Charles Feltman who says that “trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.” Trust isn’t built in grand gestures, Brown says, but in the small moments that people treat what is important to you with care. But what does that mean? What did they do? In an episode of Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcast, Brené Brown, a renowned vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy researcher, breaks down the complexities of trust. We say we trust people, or that someone has broken our trust. It’s also a big word, packing a lot of weight. When people gain our trust or break our trust, it matters.
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